Not autistic enough

So today I was tested.

(Well, not really tested. They didn't want to test me because it was expensive and I have a graduate student stipend and I don't really need too much in the terms of accommodations as far as they could see. And I was unclear of what I wanted since I couldn't tell them how much I wanted to just belong, although I tried.)

So instead they walked me through the diagnosis (or informally tested me).

And told me that I would have qualified for Asperger's.

But that doesn't exist anymore.

And that I'm not autistic enough.

Except for social issues and sensory issues. I qualify under those apparently.

(By the end, I was a bit lost and confused because there had just been a lot of talking in the room and I could see the clock and it was one of the analogue types that you could hear ticking.)

So I'm not all that certain what was decided.

Last month, I would have been autistic.

Today apparently I am not.

(And really, I don't know if I am or if I'm not, now.)

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