Today I was making a budget.
Well, really, boyfriend was making me a budget and I was contributing helpful information like how much money I spend on shampoo and stuff when that was asked of me. And my roommate, who is also a business-y type person, came in and started discussing things with boyfriend because we all went to college together so we are friends. And they were talking about taxes (because of the weird way my stipend is paid, I don't get taxes taken out automatically apparently, so I have to write a check at some point for estimated taxes at some point before actually filing taxes... apparently.)
And then since roommate and boyfriend both studied accounting and economics (but have rather opposite money-political-viewpoints, they got into a discussion about the economy and different things of that matter. And they were throwing around strange acronyms and talking about different kinds of money like M2 or what-not. So that was a bit confusing because I was still thinking about my budget and not really sure where this came in.
But then I started to get upset because the argument seemed like it was getting angry. So I went and hid in the pantry for a while. Because I don't like angry.
And later reviewing it with boyfriend, he asked why I disappeared/seemed upset (because sometimes when they have boring conversations I just go leave and do something else.) So I told him I left because they were angry and fighting.
"No, we weren't fighting. Why would you think that?"
"Your voices were loud and louder. And also your voice (boyfriend's) was getting deeper and it gets deeper when you get angry."
... neither of them were angry, apparently.
I asked boyfriend how I could tell, and he said he didn't know. He just wasn't angry and neither was roommate. So I don't really know how most people tell if people are angry. (They generally don't seem to have helpful solutions when I ask.)
But judging from this, (and other things my parents have told me), I think that maybe just maybe I think people are angry or upset more than they are. Angry or offended or sad or mad. And then I get confused and stressed when I am talking to them and they seem angry.
But maybe they aren't angry after all.
Labels: autism, boyfriend, emotions, friends, grad school